Friday, November 26, 2010: The Smiths - Shoplifters Of The World Unite

The Day After Thanksgiving. Otherwise known as Black Friday.

The busiest shopping day of the year.

When I was in college I got a job at Target for the holiday season.  My first day was Black Friday.  I've never been more abused and manhandled in my life. Customers were literally grabbing my arm and pulling me to the toy section, the clothing section, the appliance section, shouting questions at me all the way.

On the next day I was trying to hide behind some ferns in the garden section when someone pointed to me and said, "YOU! FOLLOW ME!"  It was a woman in a grey sweatshirt and jeans, who immediately ran off after barking those instructions.  I followed her more out of curiosity than compulsion, and wound up helping apprehend someone in the parking lot who she (store undercover security, don't you know) accused of shoplifting.

I had never done anything so blatantly authoritarian in my life. I was totally out of my depth.

I clocked out for lunch that second day, and never clocked back in.  To this day I'm pretty sure I've been blacklisted, and will never be allowed to work for Target for the rest of my life.  

I still turn in applications every now and then, just for laughs.

I was tempted to use Black Friday by Steely Dan, but there are many other SD songs I want to share before that one.

And besides, I wanted to dedicate this song to that guy in the Target parking lot.  Thanks for encouraging me to never, ever work retail ever again.

Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over

I can't wait.